When you keep hearing the same message over and over, you have to stop and listen, pull up your big girl panties and take a step of faith and see what the future holds.
The message "tell your story" as been showing up for over a year now, from the pastor in the Catholic Church, in the IKEA catalog, in a book I am reading, from a friend. I could go on, point is, it's been three years of healing and I know I have more to go, and my hearts desire is to help others.
This is beyond scary for me and brings me to such a place of vulnerability, it's pushing me so far out of my comfort zone, but when you keep getting the message, I have to listen because someone needs to hear my story!
Why would God be asking me to share my story in a blog?? I am not a writer. Let me say that again I. AM. NOT. A. WRITER. Isn't it so like God to ask us to do something that will give HIM all of the glory. I've recently read, "God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called" I'm going to take the steps of faith and share what is put on my heart. I'll write and let HIM do the heavy lifting.
Why am I not a writer, why do I cringe, feel tight and almost a little defensive in speaking or thinking about writing? It's simple, I don't get grammar, it doesn't stick in my brain and I'll do my best to make it as pretty as possible for those whom (is it who or whom? haha, see?!) Maybe it's the flash back to receiving my first college paper back with so much red ink on it, I felt dizzy from my lack of understanding and getting all the way through school with bad grammar. Oh and yes, that time in the airport I overheard this statement sitting next to someone "If the grammar is bad, I just don't read it" Ok, you're not my reader and if you are willing to suffer through it, graciously take what you want and leave the rest.
And there my beautiful friends, is a piece of my vulnerability, I am showing up at the risk of someone not liking my grammar, sentence structure, thought structure, etc, silly right? nope, something I have always struggled with and hopefully it's not all that bad.
Ultimately, I hope to inspire those going through a difficult time to know there is hope in the future. In my story, my wish and prayer is you'll find the courage to keep moving forward, to look your best when you feel your worst, to show up in any small way, dig deep to find that lost spark so it may help you RISE UP from the ashes into your beauty.
I'm not sure how my story will unfold, all I know is when there is a story on my heart to share, I will.
RISE UP into your beauty my sweet friend.
P.S. The original date of the post is August 6, today is December 12, it's taking this long to take a deep breath to post this........